LeadHer Local Coordinator, Ida has a powerful testimony of how God has begun to use her pain through your role as a coordinator in her chapter. We are so honored to have her on our team and are inspired by both her endurance and her faith. Please read her story, in her words.
Although I have experienced pain throughout my entire life, nothing compares to the pain I experienced losing my child. It was in June of 1988 andI was a single mom to the most beautiful 2 ½ year old little girl. She was my life. Just her smile would make every worry in the world go away. I thought my life was on the right track. I had my beautiful little girl, a great job and what I thought was a man who adored me. Little did I know all of that was about to change.
That day, after working longer than I had expected, I came home to an empty house. Thinking that my then boyfriend had taken my daughter to get something to eat, I changed clothes and went to check the mail. At that moment, he pulled up in his truck with my baby girl lying unconscious in the back seat. I got into the truck and instructed him to go to the hospital. He told me that he had turned his back and she had slipped in the bathtub. I later found out that this was in fact a lie, and he had caused the trauma to my little girl.
Many things unfolded that day and eventually, my precious little girl went home to be with the Lord. How could this happen? How could God take someone so smart, so young and so beautiful with so much to give to this world and me? How could God take the only thing in my life that meant something to me? I just didn’t understand and neither did my family. Because my daughter’s death, my family rallied together and stopped speaking to me. I was left alone. Why Lord, why? At this point I just wanted to die so I could be with my daughter. I just wanted to end it all but somehow knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. All I knew was that if I wanted to see my daughter again, I had to make changes in my life to draw closer to God. So I began seeking Him. I sought after him only to do the “right thing” so I could get to heaven, never even thought to have a relationship with him. I worked with someone who brought me to a church where I met my spiritual “mom and dad.” I learned of God’s unconditional love and grace and that no matter what choices I had made, He forgave me and that Jesus already paid the price for my sins. I began to heal- but only temporary.
In October of 1988, I finally received a call from my mother. I was over joyed to hear her voice until she explained the reason for her call. “I have cancer and the doctor is only giving me 6 months.” No God… not again. Why are you talking all my loved ones and leaving me her alone. It was then I went to see my mom in the hospital. The visit was good. Mom and I were able to talk and we began to heal our relationship. In December of 1988, she was again hospitalized and I stayed with her every day after work until God called her home later that month.
Here I was, my daughter and mother were gone and the rest of my family had nothing to do with me. I just didn’t understand. I continued to seek God and continued to learn of His love. Looking back I can see how God purposely put people in my life to show me His love and walk with me through this season.
It was years later that I met a woman who lost her only son in a car accident caused by a drunk driver on the night of his prom. When she had heard that I had lost my daughter, she asked me why I didn’t hate God. I was given the opportunity to tell her that I didn’t hate God but there are still times that I get angry with Him, but that I know God has always been there for me and that he loves me unconditionally. I was able to share God’s love with her like those people did with me so long ago.
God has brought me full circle. I love Him with all my heart. The events in my life have brought me to where I am today and to LeadHer. I would not be a LeadHer coordinator now and be able to share my story with other woman if it had not been for the events in my life. LeadHer gives me the opportunity to use my pain to show other women that there is healing and purpose in their pain. My daughter’s short life was not lived in vain but it will be used to help others and yes I will see her again!
Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” I stand on this verse every time I feel hurt or the pain that life brings. I still feel the pain of the death of my daughter and mom and yes God is still at work. I have reconciled with one of my sisters and am rejoicing for the day I will reconcile with the rest of my siblings who I have not seen since December of 1988.
Thank you God for your goodness.