Written by Kim Bausinger, LeadHer Local Carthage, MO Coordinator.
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How can you send me, when I’m already on the go? Most of my adult life I have been a ready volunteer. I have been willing to jump in and make myself useful in helping a friend or a cause. While this sounds good on the surface, it’s not always a good thing. Just as it’s hard to hear a whisper in a loud crowded room, it’s hard to take directions when you are constantly on the move.
I cannot tell you how many times in my life I have missed Gods call because I didn’t hear His voice. It would make me heartsick if I knew, I’m sure. But, the ones I am aware of are enough to make me hurt. The times I’ve bargained, redirected and re-routed my course are many. The excuse of “I’m already doing X, so let me finish and send someone else to do Y.” Or the the times I convinced myself that a back bent in work was more important than knees bent in prayer or a head bent over a Bible. Because the doing comes easier than the stillness of waiting and learning.
In Isaiah 6, Isaiah is standing before God. I can relate to his emotional roller coaster. The unworthiness to stand before Him, the forgiveness after he was cleansed by the live coal to his lips, the eagerness to serve the God Almighty, and the fortitude to continue until the mission was accomplished. Well, how about 3 out of 4? Stick-to- it-ness has never been high in my list. Maybe because I keep dodging the sit still, pray, learn and wait chapters of my walk with God.
While I am aware that ministry degrees are not necessary to serve, there are times when I think where God is sending me to my dining room table to dig into Him. He knows I’m willing, but as He calls me to do more for Him, He needs me to be prepared. He needs me to end my GPS route and follow His. It’s not to quit serving, but to wait for His leading. And while I wait, I will learn, grow and listen.